What Keeps Us From Moving Forward?
Have you ever had to pick between two amazing things, like chocolate and mint chip ice cream? In an ideal world, you can have both, but sometimes you have to pick just one. At times our choices are more complicated than ice cream flavors and for many of us picking just one option feels limiting and we fear we may miss out on something, so instead we opt not to choose. The downside to not choosing is that indecision keeps us from moving forward in life.
Feeling Stuck
For me, I’ve been facing several good options lately, and I’ve been struggling to pick one focus. The consequence, I’m mentally flailing as I vacillate between options. This flailing keeps me from moving in any direction, which then leaves me feeling like I’m stuck.
If you are feeling stuck because you have too many areas of focus in your work or personal life, here’s an easy exercise that brings us back to the why and helps us focus so we can gain momentum and feel like we are making steady progress once again.
One side note, sometimes we don’t move forward because we feel like if we move forward, it’s a permanent step in a direction we aren’t sure we want to take. That fear keeps many of us from moving forward. Here’s an earlier blog post that shares some ideas about our fear of heading in the wrong direction.
The Exercise
Back to having too many things grabbing at our attention and keeping us from moving forward. One thing that’s helped me move forward is deciphering between these three things:
- What can I do?
- What I should do?
- What do I want to do?
What Can I Do?
The things I can do list is very different than what I should do and what I want to do. There are lots of things I can do. I can paint walls, do SEO optimization and crunch numbers. While I can do all of those things, I don’t enjoy any of them.
When you answer this question, you separate what you can do from what you love doing. If you don’t love doing something, work to minimize how much of this you do. If it’s one of the options keeping you from moving forward, remove these choices from your list of possibilities.
What Should I Do?
There are things you should do. For example, knowing your personal brand and what you bring to the table is something you should do. There are times when what you should do supports what you want to do. When that happens, you know momentum in this direction is purposeful.
What would the match between what you should do and what you want to do look like? If you are looking for a new job, spending time thinking about your reputation and how you want to be seen by a potential employer is important. In this case, what you should do matches with what you want to do.
If you aren’t looking for a job, it’s still a good idea to know who you are and what you contribute to the workplace, but it’s a should do this item that doesn’t have a payback, therefore you can take this item off the list options competing for your attention.
What Do I Want To Do?
The last category, what do I want to do, is where you should spend the majority of your focus so you can gain momentum and feel the success of having moved forward in that area. There are lots of things on my I can do this list and my I should do this list. There are only a few things on my I want to do this list.
If you are struggling to let go of the many I shoulds in life (and there are many!), here’s a great blog by Jason Kotecki at Escape Adulthood about saying no to the many things fighting for our attention.
When I focus on my I want to list, I find myself gaining momentum and moving forward because I’m doing what I love more than all the many things I can do or should do. We all get stuck from time to time, but we can move forward when we sort between what we can do, should do, and love to do.
What’s on your list of love to do?
Keynote speaker, trainer, and consultant, Sarah Gibson, helps organizations leverage the power of communication, teamwork, and diversity to improve engagement and transform teams. To buy her book or inquire about her speaking programs, please visit www.sarahjgibson.com.
