Finishing is Finishing

Recently a friend went through a really drawn-out process and expressed, “I don’t feel like the empowered woman I thought I would”. Her comment made me realize we often expect a glorious triumph at the end of really hard, difficult work. When what we may have to face is that an ugly finish is still a finish.

The Messy End

You’ve probably been in the very messy end of something both professionally and personally. I think of all the times I’d love to have a deep, fantastic, life-changing conversation with my family at the dinner table, and instead, the first response you hear (or give) is a sarcastic, snotty, snide retort. Your conversation isn’t what you expected, but you had a conversation.

Or maybe you’ve wanted to have the best celebration ever, and half of your family isn’t feeling well, and the event is a half-hearted good enough moment.

Or maybe it’s been a moment at work where you’re super excited about sharing a new idea and introducing an amazing change, and the person you thought would champion your idea is the first to poke holes and talk about how it won’t work.

Crossing The Finish Line Is Still Finishing

It’s in those moments we may find it helpful to remember that slogging across the finish line is still finishing. As the saying in the academic world goes, “Cs earn degrees”. We want the end to be triumphant and amazing, but most of the time it isn’t going to be. We need to be content with finishing the task even if it isn’t finished.

Your work team won’t always embrace your ideas, your teammates may not be the most supportive and your employees may not buy into your proposed culture changes. So what can you do to re-center and recognize a magnificently unamazing finish?

Recognize We Did The Best We Could

First, we can recognize we did the best we could. At the moment when a process or plan isn’t going how you expected, recognize that you’ve done the best you can. No one is the perfect employee or the perfect spouse or friend or parent. However, we’ve done the best we can (most of the time). Focus on knowing we did our best with the information and skills we had at that moment. Then we can be excited when we cross a finish line. Even if the finish isn’t pretty.

Let Go Of Unrealistic Expectations

Second, we can let go of unrealistic expectations, which for most of us, are self-imposed expectations. We think others expect certain things of us, like always being strong, being put together, and having the right solution. And the reality is, none of us are always, or even, most of the time, those things. When we recognize an expectation as something we’ve determined, not what others expect of us, we can be free to let that expectation go.

When we react with empathy and we adjust our expectations based on our reality, we’ll find that ugly finishes are finishes. It wasn’t what you expected it to be. It wasn’t what you wanted it to be, but it was what actually was. Life is about living in the reality of now. Embrace the messy tasks and celebrate the ugly wins, because a finish is a finish. No matter how it feels or looks.

 

Keynote speaker, trainer, and consultant, Sarah Gibson, helps organizations leverage the power of communication, teamwork, and diversity to improve engagement and transform teams. To buy her book or inquire about her speaking programs, please visit www.sarahjgibson.com.