How You Act When No One is Watching Matters
Recently I’ve had two encounters related to integrity that surprised me. Both had to do with how someone acted when they thought no one else was watching them. The consistency between our actions when people are watching us and not watching us is a character trait we know as integrity. Integrity on your teams and in your leadership matters. Here’s more about why.
The two situations I ran into included a lawncare business owner and a team of roofers. The lawncare business owner was struggling to take care of the grounds outside my office. His aerator was dying every 10 feet or so. What he didn’t realize was my office window was open and I was quietly observing his struggle.
After about the 20th time his equipment stopped, I poked my head out the window and said, “I’ve been waiting to hear you swear over this machine, but that hasn’t happened yet.” He smiled, and we had a joking conversation about the machine he was struggling to keep running.
Honestly, if anyone had a right to swear based on circumstances, it was him. Yet, his business is built on the integrity of his professionalism, so becoming loudly frustrated with the equipment would have counteracted all I know about him and his business model.
The other instance included a team of roofers working while I ate my lunch outside. They didn’t know I was there and within earshot, and what I heard was a lot of, “Pleases,” and “Thank yous.” It surprised me a bit, and I was super impressed. Why? Because these people were genuinely polite and thoughtful. They said things that built up their team when they thought no one was around watching.
How we act when we think no one is watching matters because whether we realize it or not there’s almost always people watching our actions, especially those of us who lead a project or a team. It’s our little actions that build our reputations. It’s our actions when we think no one is around that speak of our integrity.
Integrity is an unusual word in our culture. Most of us have a gut response to what it is, but when asked to define it, we struggle a bit. Essentially integrity is defined as behaving in a consistent manner no matter what your circumstances. The opposite of integrity is hypocrisy. Saying one thing and then turning and doing the opposite.
One of the things people dislike most in other people (especially team members) is hypocrisy. When they see someone say accountability matters, but then that person doesn’t hold himself accountable, the person’s credibility plummets. Our trust in that person diminishes. So, it naturally follows to say integrity is key to building trust, and trust is the foundation of healthy teams.
Here’s a caveat to all of this – we are all entitled to a bad day. In addition, our level of investment in the relationship will also determine how much of our true selves we allow to come out. I’m thinking of all of us who are parents who have a moment where we flip out at our kids then have to answer the phone nicely the next minute. It happens, and we work on it, and hope to be better next time. That’s life. It’s integrity to say we all have those moments.
True leaders are who they say they are, when people are watching and when they think no one else is watching. And, most of the time, whether we realize it or not, someone else is watching. One last note, true leaders apologize when they see their actions and words don’t align. When they have one of those moments when they flip out about something and realize their actions created distrust, they apologize and work to rebuild lost trust.
This week, I challenge you to think about who is watching your actions. Who is looking to see how your actions and words align? How are you doing in the category of being a leader with integrity who builds trust in all you do?
