What Comes Off My Plate?
A couple of weeks back I mentioned my quest to become a Vistage Chair*. The time required to make this happen is intense. It takes about 6 months of full-time commitment to get things up and running. From there, the load lightens. Why I’m telling you all of this, is because my Vistage work has me wondering, “What needs to come off my plate in order for me to make this happen?”
We all have limited capacity. We each get 24 hours and that’s it – day in and day out. How we spend that time is often driven by our values and purpose in life. It’s also determined by a set of non-negotiable and negotiable time commitments.
Identifying Negotiable and Non-Negotiable Items
When I think about my time as being non-negotiable or negotiable, it helps me figure out what I can realistically do within my 24-hour capacity. It also helps me evaluate the pieces of my life that are life-giving and those that are draining so I can figure out what to keep or put on my plate and what should be taken off.
Let’s start with the non-negotiable items, those items tied to personal values and beliefs. For me, non-negotiables include: being there for my husband and children. It’s time at church and connection time with friends. It’s exercising to keep myself sane. By the way, this list is fairly easy to create, however making sure I honor that list isn’t as easy.
On the flip side, what’s really difficult is sorting what’s non-negotiable from what is negotiable. For example, we do laundry and buy groceries every week. That’s non-negotiable. What’s negotiable is who buys the groceries or how we buy the groceries (I love me some online ordering).
Redefining Non-Negotiable
For me the key in the negotiables is letting go of each of those items as my personal responsibility. My children are old enough to recognize when they need to do their laundry. My husband is perfectly capable of making dinner at night. The house won’t fall down if there’s dirt and clutter – in fact it may stay upright even more so with that dirt and clutter.
The other difficult thing about the negotiables is being realistic about what needs to be done, and what is helpful to do and what’s nice to do. Realistically, I can’t connect with every friend I have in deep and meaningful ways every week – that’s nice to do, but not something that needs to be done. It’s nice to do yoga and workout every day, but not necessary
My capacity is limited. I can’t run from 6:30 – 10 p.m. each night and expect to stay healthy. I am human with the same constraints we all share. Vistage is a 35-40 hour a week commitment for the next six months, which means I need to free up 35-40 hours a week. As a family, we’ve talked about what that will look like for us.
My husband is cooking the majority of meals for the coming months. That’s 5 hours a week of my plate. The kids are doing the dishes nightly – that’s 3 hours off my plate each week. From a work perspective, I’ve cleared my calendar of all but necessary meetings – that’s 10 hours back each week.
Saying No When We Want to Say Yes
The more difficult items to remove have been the nice to-do items. Some of those items include providing food for cross country team dinners and taking a hiatus from volunteer work. Those commitments will get added on again at some point, but for now, my hours are limited.
It’s hard to truly evaluate what needs to be done because it feels personal. It’s admitting we are not as necessary to the process as we’d like to be. It’s sharing our vulnerabilities and weaknesses with others. It’s also human and completely understandable.
As you go through this next week feeling harried and frenzied, ask yourself, what can I take off my plate? What’s negotiable and non-negotiable? Realistically what does my capacity allow me to do? What are creative solutions that simplify my time? While it’s hard to do this, I promise it can be equally freeing.
By the way, one of the ways I’m claiming back some of my hours is by changing this weekly blog to a twice-a-month blog. I’ll see you on the first and third Fridays of the month. Until next time!
*What Does a Vistage Chair Do?
For those of you wonder, what does a Vistage Chair do? A Vistage Chair recruits CEOs to join a non-competitive, confidential peer advisory group comprised of 12-15 other CEOs. After the CEO group is fully recruited, the Chair then facilitates the group and does one-on-one coaching with the CEOs. The recruiting process is the most intense phase of the group build. While recruiting never goes away fully, the first six months are critical to the group’s overall success.
Keynote speaker, trainer, and consultant, Sarah Gibson, helps organizations leverage the power of communication, teamwork, and diversity to improve engagement and transform teams. To buy her book or inquire about her speaking programs, please visit www.sarahjgibson.com.
