The Surprise Bonus of Traveling for Work

When people find out I travel for work, they often exclaim, “That’s so fun! You must get to see really amazing places!” I answer, “Yes, and it’s not quite as glamorous and amazing as it seems.” However, I’ve really started to appreciate one aspect of traveling for work – the skills my kids are learning while I’m gone.

As a serious mom micro-manager, I tend to say a lot of things like: “Did you make your lunch? Pack for gym? Did you do your homework?” When I travel, I can’t do that. The result? My kids have not only figured it out but proven they really can function, and even thrive, without me.

While there’s a piece of me that’s sad about how grown up they are becoming, this is our entire goal as parents – to raise children capable of functioning on their own! The other perk of my travel is I simply don’t have time to do things that need to get done. My children have to help, and as a result, they have learned all kinds of things.

Just this week our 11-year-old son sanded some wood pieces I’ll need in two weeks because I simply have run out of time to take care of it before my deadline (see picture). And while I find how Kyle holds his foot up on the surface where he’s sanding, balancing like a stork, really awkward, it doesn’t matter how he stands when he does the job. What matters is he did a great job and took care of a need I couldn’t.

Unlearning how to micromanage hasn’t always been easy for me. These pointers and tips from other parents have helped tremendously. They may help you unload some of your tasks at home or work too.

• Pick your battles wisely. The bathroom will never be as clean as your standard, but as long as they didn’t do a terrible, purposefully bad job, simply be glad it’s done and say thank you. You may need to do a little deeper cleaning at a later point, but for now, it’s good enough. I often say, “Thanks for cleaning the bathroom, next time if you could wipe down around the tub faucet, that’d be great.” Enough said.

Too often we criticize each piece of work done by others, and instead of learning to do the job right, they learn you’ll never be happy with them, so why try. There’s a cost to both us and others when we don’t pick our battles well. Sheryl Sandberg, in her book, Lean In, discusses how women who need something to be done in a specific way (ex: fold shirts exactly like this) do 5 hours more housework than their partners.

• Remember that while it takes you time to teach them how to do something, the time investment is worth it. Any delegating we do takes time, however, if you added up the time you spend in a year doing that task and compare it to how long it will take you to show someone how to do it, the time is well spent.

Using these two tips, I’ve been able to watch my children problem solve and figure things out. When I travel and my kids forget something at home they need that day, they’re out of luck. It’s a hard lesson, but they figure out how to share lunches with their friends or find friends with extra gym clothes. It’s awkward and it’s hard, but it gives them the ability to problem solve when things are small rather than large.

You may not be in the same position we are where work travel has created this surprising benefit, but you can still benefit from enlisting help from others in a variety of ways. When you do, it’s a relief to you, and a moment of learning and pride for them.

 

Keynote speaker, trainer, and consultant, Sarah Gibson, helps organizations leverage the power of communication, teamwork, and diversity to improve engagement and transform teams. To buy her book or inquire about her speaking programs, please visit www.sarahjgibson.com.