Letting Things Fail
This morning after a delayed first flight, I fully expected to miss my connecting flight. We landed a half hour late and my travel app showed they were already boarding my next flight which was set to leave in 30 minutes. As usual, the flight was two concourses over, meaning a fast jog through the airport. I fully expected to miss the flight. And for some reason, I was okay with that. I figured I’d let my plans for connecting fail and figure things out from there.
There was a great sense of peace in this thought – in not having to make the impossible work. In this case, the impossible task of racing through the airport. The impossible task of getting everything sorted and shuffled. The impossible task of hoping maybe, just maybe I could make the flight.
Surprisingly when I arrive, the plane was still there. They hadn’t even started boarding yet. In fact, not only had they not started boarding, but there was a restroom and a Starbucks 30 feet away. It was an unexpected bonus and gift to use the restroom, get a cup of coffee and food for the next flight, and to still walk on the plane without making the impossible happen.
I called this blog letting things fail because, at times, we have to let things fail. There’s freedom in letting go and letting things happen, consequences and all. In business, we can experience the same failure, often with surprising effects.
My husband once had a boss who told him, “Sometimes you have to let things fail if you want to make the case for more resources.” None of us wants our work projects to fail. No one wants their teams to fail. But sometimes, that’s the most effective way to learn two important lessons.
- Sometimes there’s nothing we can do to stop the uncontrollable. Keeping perspective in these situations removes worry from the equation.
- Sometimes failing brings about unexpected relief and fantastic surprises and a win for everyone.
We often label the uncontrollable as a catastrophe beyond recovery. When I fly, I often think of the missed connection as the piece that will unglue the entire rest of my trip. I work hard to alleviate the stress of the uncontrollable by building in extra travel time, but sometimes in life, there’s nothing any of my planning can do to change the weather, the mechanical failure, or the run through the airport.
One of the things that takes worry out of the equation for me is perspective. Here’s perspective, in my line of work, no one dies if I don’t make a connecting flight. Tomorrow will come whether the uncontrollable happens or not. When I keep perspective, it gives me permission to let go of worry.
The second lesson is failing often brings unexpected relief and fantastic surprises. My husband’s boss who said you had to let things fail? He was right. If we work ourselves to death trying to prove our worth and value to the company, we miss out on what might be – a win for others.
While the thought of letting your project fail feels impossible, letting go may be just the right thing to gain perspective on what really matters, alleviating the fear that often grips us. If you are like me, you believe your reputation is on the line and failure is personal. What if we looked at it as a business or life strategy for success?
My inability to complete a project creates a win for others around me with different gifting. When I can’t complete a task or I don’t have the resources, it creates opportunities for others to step up. Others who don’t step up because I always handle things for them. It gives folks a chance to share their gifts with us.
For many of us, learning we don’t have to do it all is a surprise. And a relief. Think of a time recently when you realized you didn’t have to do it all, but there were others who could help. What a relief it is. And what if your strategy to fail, let others win in the process? Bonus!
For me, this happens weekly with the school carpool (Team Mom for the Win!). As a parent, I feel like I fail each week when it comes to doing my share of hauling kids to and from school, but I have dear friends who love on my family by stepping in and serving us. They, on the flip side, are grateful when we host a gaggle of teens for game night because that’s what we do well.
What I feel like is a failure in parenting, is an opportunity for others, and it’s a win because we all feel like we are contributing.
If we think of failure as a strategy for success, the crazy, uncontrollable or inevitable parts of life become a non-event. We manage through and we come out better than before.
Am I saying I hope my connections home fall through? No. I am saying I’m letting go of what may happen, letting the uncontrollable things go, and enjoying whatever surprises may await – like this morning’s second flight being delayed because the crew was on my first flight and they couldn’t get there any faster than I could.
Rethink failure this week. What can you do to think of it as a strategy bringing us all to the win?
Keynote speaker, trainer, and consultant, Sarah Gibson, helps organizations leverage the power of communication, teamwork, and diversity to improve engagement and transform teams. To buy her book or inquire about her speaking programs, please visit www.sarahjgibson.com.
