Doing Things for the Right Reason
I really, super dislike eating eggs. But 4-5 mornings a week, I eat the nasty things because they are a good source of low-cal protein. Yep, I eat food I hate because it helps me stay healthy. As I thought about why I eat eggs I dislike, I decided there are times we need to be doing things for the right reason. Not because I like to do it, but because it’s the right thing to do.
However, this doesn’t translate logically across all of my life. For example, this week, I took advantage of the quieter summer work season to spend time with a college friend pampering ourselves at a spa. Quite honestly, I felt guilty for a large portion of my time there because:
- There’s stuff I should be doing at home and in the office.
- There are other people who are more deserving and in need of the time away, but because I have the luxury of time and money, I get to do this.
- It seems wasteful to not be doing something productive.
Ever feel that way?
The Mind Changer
As I thought about the juxtaposition of why I eat a food I dislike because it’s the right thing to do, but I beat myself up for taking time to relax and regroup, I realized my reason for doing things is important. Taking care of myself so I can serve others is just as important in the relaxation department as it is in the eating healthy portion.
But do I believe that? Do you? For most of us, we believe it in theory for others, but not for ourselves. I think we’d all encourage others to take a day to rest, but when it comes to the importance of us taking care of us, I think we switch off our logical side and let guilt and fear rule our actions.
What if we had a change of mind? What if I remove the idea that one of these things is a punishment I need to bear and one is a reward I don’t deserve? By switching my thoughts, I could reframe each of these actions to be about being healthy. What if I took it one step further and changed how my mind views this as a reward or punishment system to a mindset of being healthy so I can serve others?
Shifting Focus from Me to Others
When we reframe this to about being healthy, we also notice a shift in our focus from this being about me, to this being about others. For example, in a relationship, the healthy thing to do may be to say the hard thing. That’s the thing we don’t want to do, but we do it because it’s the right thing and we have a reason to do it (i.e. hard conversations are the eggs in our lives).
Additionally, the healthy act of taking care of, and even pampering ourselves, is also about others. I had a full day with a dear friend from college. The relationship time was the reward. It wasn’t about me and me being all extravagant. It was about my time with her. It was about how we were able to talk about the deep things in life and solve a few of the world’s problems along the way. Those are the right reasons to take time away.
Moving Forward
As you charge into the weekend and next week, think about why you are doing something. What’s the right reason to do it? Do you need a mind shift around anything? Do you need to stop feeling guilty about taking care of yourself so you can serve others? Do you need to eat more eggs? I really hope you don’t need to because they are disgusting.
Whatever is ahead for you. Do it for the right reason.
P.S. If you can find a study that shows toast and other gluten-ridden products are a healthy way to start the day, I would become your best friend forever!
Keynote speaker, trainer, and consultant, Sarah Gibson, helps organizations leverage the power of communication, teamwork, and diversity to improve engagement and transform teams. To buy her book or inquire about her speaking programs, please visit www.sarahjgibson.com.
